When someone is nudged into coaching by their company for whatever reason, for the coach, it can feel like trying to start a conversation with someone who has one foot out the door. Unlike clients who come to coaching on their own with a desire to grow, involuntary clients might feel skeptical or resistant.
A coach may need to take a special approach when working with someone for whom coaching sessions have been mandated to help them find their own reasons to engage. Below, 15 members of Forbes Coaches Council share how they work with involuntary coaching clients, helping them explore and grow at their own pace even if it wasn’t their choice to start the journey.
While the overall coaching strategy for both groups may be similar, the techniques and timing of application might differ. For example, the initial focus for those forced into coaching would include understanding the underlying issues and gaining their trust in order to increase the chances of success. Clients who choose coaching can start more quickly due to their intrinsic motivation. - Peju Adedeji, Your IT Career
Regardless of the reason they came to me for coaching, it’s important to create a safe space for honest dialogue. What does the coachee know, or perceive, about the goals of the engagement, and, equally important, what do they want to achieve? The difference is how the coach navigates potentially varying perspectives. The key is to focus the coachee on productive paths forward. - Kristy Busija, Next Conversation Consulting
I remember one leader telling me point-blank, “You’re not going to get anything out of me!” So, I simply let the “art” of coaching kick in by using empathy, listening, asking questions and acknowledging the fundamental human need to feel seen and heard. Yes, it took longer to establish trust, but ultimately, transformation did happen that positively impacted the client and her team. - Gabriella Goddard,Brainsparker Ltd
Whether your client is forced into coaching or chooses it, both approaches start with discovery and asking what the client wants to achieve, what limitations they’re currently facing and how they can move forward into the life they desire living. This complements a foundation of trust by establishing an agreement that your coaching relationship is with the client, not the hiring organization. - Kathleen Shanley, Statice
Early in my coaching career, I was taught, “Don’t coach anyone who doesn’t want to be coached.” This maxim has stood me in good stead when I have been asked to coach leaders by human resources, by their CEO or even by family friends! Commitment and ownership are key to successful coaching. It is rare to find these two qualities in these circumstances, so coaches may need to be brave to walk away. - Dr. John Blakey, The Trusted Executive
I was asked to coach a leader with poor behavior. “It’s last-chance saloon,” the HR director said. The leader didn’t want coaching and they told me so! I asked them to reflect on why this was imposed on them. Could they see it as an opportunity? We worked on their behaviors. It transformed their meetings, relationships and performance. They even engaged me for more coaching and funded it themselves. -Ricky Muddimer, Thinking Focus
It is incumbent upon me to ensure that there is a good, mutual coaching fit. Thus, “chemistry sessions” are important. As a coach, you need to be able to step away from those who are not invested in the process or whenever the timing is not right. Feed back to the organization, and share your wisdom about how to improve buy-in from employees through increasing their knowledge of coaching. - Arthi Rabikrisson, Prerna Advisory
I don’t work with clients who feel forced into coaching by their organizations and don’t want to be coached. I may try to build trust and rapport and explore how they could create coaching goals that are personally meaningful for them. If they can see the benefit and trust me as their guide, they might actually be excited by the coaching opportunity. If not, it is not a good match. - Melissa Eisler, Wide Lens Leadership
I want a client to understand that they have a choice. If the coaching is organization-directed, I encourage the organization to allow the person to select their coach. I then focus on building trust through transparency. I am direct about the consequences of not changing behavior, but I reinforce that it is a choice. When someone has chosen coaching, these steps are not required, and you can jump right in! - Jill Helmer, Jill Helmer Consulting
Whether an individual chooses coaching for themselves or they are required to be coached, all coachees must acknowledge that they have room to grow, commit to engaging in improvement conversations and do the follow-up work assigned to grow, learn and change. If they come to the process reluctantly and don’t commit to authenticity and hard work, they are unlikely to succeed. - Jennifer Wilson,ConvergenceCoaching, LLC
For those brought into coaching involuntarily, create a discovery space, understanding their initial skepticism. For those who come to it voluntarily, it’s a collaborative journey from readiness. Empathy and patience are key to guiding everyone toward self-awareness and growth. - Dr. Courtney L. Teague, CLT & Associates
The first step is to get their acknowledgement of the true reason they’ve been forced into the coaching arrangement. If the coaching client cannot accept the real reason they are being coached, then no approach to coaching will be successful. I use an assessment of the coachee’s self-efficacy and locus of control. We also start off by exploring the roles of victim versus creator in the “drama triangle.” - John Knotts,Crosscutter Enterprises
I’ve had several clients who were “voluntold” to work with me. I agree to these engagements only after establishing that our sessions remain confidential and I will provide high-level reports on where the client is along the professional development continuum. I then work to establish trust with the coaching client and treat the work no differently than I would with any other client. - Sheri Nasim, Center for Executive Excellence
Coaching has one strong foundation, and that is rapport; once it’s been built, then the process of supporting clients can work. The cause of a client’s appearance in the first session doesn’t matter. The most important part is a close relationship between the coach and the coachee, which is built on trust, understanding and psychological safety. This is the start of every successful coaching engagement. - Dominik Szot, MIA
When working with individuals mandated into coaching, I focus on building trust and identifying personal benefits for them to get them engaged. This differs from self-motivated clients, where I align our sessions more directly with their chosen goals and intrinsic motivation for change. - Carrie Anne Yu, Conscious Ignite